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A Short, in Fact, Very Short, History of the World
Topic Started: Jun 15 2006, 08:20 AM (84 Views)
Poison
A short, in fact very short, history of the world. (edited) (unfinished)
Big G’s diary
Year ., day zero.

Woke up early. Holy Ghost and JC have hangovers.
Opened Christmas present to self and-joy!! Found Boys’ Own world creation kit. “Add water and press button”. Added water and pressed button and all these little planets appeared. Boring.
Got on with inventing the flea.

About three millennia later, Mrs Big G had a clearout. At the bottom of the freezer she found an old, uninteresting Sainsbury’s bag. In it were two pink, wrinkly, forked creatures. Also in the bag were awfully mutated things... like salesmen. And fifty foot high balls of aggressive naval fluff.
Mrs Big G yelled and threw it out the window.
Down into space it fell, until it landed smack in the middle of that funny new planet in the middle of New Eden Town.
New Eden Park, a sign read, Owner: Lord High Master Big G. There was a statue in the middle of the man himself. A passing snake handed one of the pink and wrinklies an aerosol.
“Go on, you know you want to…”
The pink and wrinkly with the can then sprayed “BIG G SUCKS” over the statue. The man himself, passing through the park, saw this and caught the pink and wrinklies.
“THOU SHALL APOLOGISE!!”
“Naff off,” said the pink and wrinkly called Sharon.
“Oooh, now I’ve really got me mad on, innit!!”
And he called Percy the Park Keeper who kicked them out of New Eden Town forever.
"We'll be back, innit!" yelled Wayne
"And we'll bring the boys!!" added Sharon.
And so it came to pass that the first human were kicked out of the Garden and told to bog off. After that, they got bored. So, to amuse themselves, they began to reproduce.
And even the hedghog wasn't safe.
They named their offspring Ahab and Doohab etc., and when they ran out of 'ab's they started using 'oob's so the Inland Revenue knew where to send the forms.


I got bored in Health&Social. :lol:
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Mysterious Fayth
LMAO!!!!!! That' brilliant *claps* when is your next Health and Social, you have to continue this story :P
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Lord Of The Shadow
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Mtani
*LOL* :lol: I second that! I want to hear more!
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Lady Of The Shadow
Lady Of The Shadow
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Poison
haha, thanks. I got a lot from a book, but the rest I made up... :blink: Mostly because I can't remember it...
Next project: How to Make People Think You're Normal.
After that, Ways To Releive Stress. ^_^
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Mysterious Fayth
I look forward to it ^^

How to make people think your normal.

Lesson 1 of 2 - Agree with everyone

Lesson 2 of 2 - Be hypocritical


Ways to relieve stress, there are many ways and i can't be bothere listing them all, so leave that to you Twin ^^
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Lord Of The Shadow
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Poison
6- Hang gummy worms out of your nose during conversations. This will releive others' stress as well. ^_^
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Mysterious Fayth
Lol I like that one, shame gummy worms don't smell so good XD

Ways to relieve stress - #1

Punch something. WARNING! This may seriously hurt you :P
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Lord Of The Shadow
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Poison
What\'s the date, Fayth?? IT\'S GONE PAST THE BOARDS\' BIRTHDAY AND NO-ONE GAVE IT A PRESENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Mysterious Fayth
Yes, well, what present would you give a forum?
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Lord Of The Shadow
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Mtani
Hmm... well, it did just recieve a new make-over, can't we just call that an early birthday gift? :P

But it's true, it shoud have been marked in some way... *hugs forum* No, we didn't forget you, poor thing! We were just busy..
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Lady Of The Shadow
Lady Of The Shadow
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