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| Jokes and Gags; Got any crackers?! Be tasteful tho! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 2 2004, 09:10:02 PM (4,463 Views) | |
| Malte279 | Jan 2 2005, 09:56:00 AM Post #61 |
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I'm a historian. I MUST be like that!
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It has nothing to do with the guys name at all! It's just that the income tax is nothing voluntarily you can decide not to join. And one has to be quite a fool not to know and declare your wish not to join to an office. |
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| Petrie | Jan 2 2005, 10:26:45 AM Post #62 |
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GOF Founder
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Ok, I guess I get it now. There are actually states in the US that have no income tax. >.<
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| Littlefoot1616 | Jan 2 2005, 06:45:38 PM Post #63 |
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The Inquisitive Quadruped (admin)
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Here's a few oxymorons for you. In case you don't know what an oxymoron is...it's two words that are used together that either don't make much sense or seems to conflict with each other... Here's a few examples: Tax Return (how in the world do you get tax money you pay to the government to return to you?!) Microsoft Works (Does it really!?! I have my suscipions about that! LOL :rolleyes:) I did have a load of others...if I find 'em I'll post them up here! |
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| Petrie | Jan 2 2005, 06:50:54 PM Post #64 |
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GOF Founder
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jumbo shrimp LOL Microsoft Works is the #1 oxymoron.
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| Littlefoot1616 | Jan 4 2005, 08:24:24 AM Post #65 |
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The Inquisitive Quadruped (admin)
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Another oxymoron for all you gamers out there! Final Fantasy - Hmm...strange! Doesnt seem very final when there are 12 sequels and more in the pipeline! LOL
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| Petrie | Jan 4 2005, 09:19:10 AM Post #66 |
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GOF Founder
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one man band (band is usually a group)
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| Littlefoot1616 | Jan 4 2005, 07:23:33 PM Post #67 |
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The Inquisitive Quadruped (admin)
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Here are a couple of stupid label warnings I found! 1. On a packet of peanuts - WARNING! This product contains nuts 2. On a bottle of children's cough medicine - Do not operate heavy machinery or drive vehicles after taking stated dosage 3. On the box of a Superman kid's costume - This costume does not enable the wearer to fly 4. On the BOTTOM of a frozen dessert packet - Do not turn upside down 5. In the instruction manual of a hairdryer - Do not use this product in the bath 6. In the instruction manual of an iron - WARNING! Do not iron clothes whilst on body PMSL! OMG! What some people won't do eh?! LOL
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| Threehorn | Jan 4 2005, 08:11:56 PM Post #68 |
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Still me inside but different on the outside
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lol! -Threehorn |
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| Malte279 | Jan 5 2005, 03:26:30 AM Post #69 |
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I'm a historian. I MUST be like that!
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There is another one. I don't know the exact wording, but a manufacturer of microwaves has to put a warning sign on the microwaves which says something like: Do not use the microwave to dry pets! A lady had sued the company after she put her sogged cat into the microwave to dry her off. You can imagine what happened to the poor cat. The lady ought to be sued for being THAT stupid! |
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| Littlefoot1616 | Jan 5 2005, 06:24:36 AM Post #70 |
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The Inquisitive Quadruped (admin)
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I've heard that story before! Here's another stupid lawsuit story I got from somewhere. A man, somewhere in the US, sued a camper-van company after he trashed it on the motorway (or highway which ever you prefer! :P:). Apparently, this man put the camper on cruise control and LEFT the steering wheel to wander in the back to make himself a cup of coffee! Lo and behold, he comes to a bend but he's too concerned about whether his coffee is perculating properly to realise. He stacks the vehicle and sues the company who sold him the camper because it didn't state that he could not leave the wheel in order to do something else in the back! Unbelievably, the nutter WON his case and they re-instated him with a new, top-of-the-range camper and a stupidly large amount of money! I mean COME ON! You'd have to be seriously smacked in the head to do something like that!!!
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| Nick22 | Jan 5 2005, 10:35:22 AM Post #71 |
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Resident History Buff
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Deleware is one of those states. that have no taxes. So a lot of companies are incorporated there, but actually operate in other states. Nick |
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| Petrie | Jan 5 2005, 11:31:31 AM Post #72 |
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GOF Founder
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I wouldn't be surprised if all those warning labels are found on American products. Yeah, there are a lot of dumbbells out there.
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| Nick22 | Jan 5 2005, 11:38:33 AM Post #73 |
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Resident History Buff
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You should read "The Darwin Awards.". It's alll about stupoid people who died or were imjured doing stupid thiimgs. Like looking inside a gas tank with a lighter. Nick |
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| Petrie | Jan 5 2005, 11:41:39 AM Post #74 |
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:lol: :lol: My next trip to a library, I'll look for it.
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| Malte279 | Jan 8 2005, 03:51:17 AM Post #75 |
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I'm a historian. I MUST be like that!
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I once read about the following really stupid action. A man wanted to bring a wooden box full of very heavy bricks down from the upper floor of a barn he owned. The barn had a garret window with a block and pulley above it. So the man tied a rope around the box, led it around the winch and tied the other end of the winch to his car down below the barn. The he pushed the tool box out of the garret window to it was dangling in the air, suspended by the weight of the car. However, when he loosened the rope from the car in order to slowly lower down the box to the ground it turned out that the box was considerably heaverier than he was so while the box with the brick dropped down the man was pulled upwards. Halfway up he was injured when he colided with the box and he painfully jammed his fingers in the winch when he reached the top. The bottom of the box however with the bricks broke away when the box hit the ground, and the rest of the box was of course much lighter than the man. So now the man dropped quickly to the ground and was again injured when halfway he collided with the remains of the box. The poor guy hit the ground so heavily that he broke several bones and let go the rope. This however resulted in the remains of the box to come down again knocking the man out finally
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| Petrie | Jan 8 2005, 11:19:51 AM Post #76 |
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*snickers* Why didn't he just drop the bricks out the window one at a time? Sure would've saved a lot of hassle. |
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| Malte279 | Jan 8 2005, 04:25:59 PM Post #77 |
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I'm a historian. I MUST be like that!
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Maybe they would have broken that way. |
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| Littlefoot1616 | Jan 8 2005, 06:10:10 PM Post #78 |
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The Inquisitive Quadruped (admin)
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LOL! Sounds like something out of a Tom & Jerry cartoon! PMSL! Poor bloke! Right...here's a joke I remembered from a long time ago. One very windy day, a man comes into work and head upstairs to his cubicle to start a day's work. After working, all the employees went up to the top floor to the bar for a few drinks. The man and a friend got a bit merry and sat down and listened to the wind outside roaring around the building. "Jeez! It's so windy today!" the man said. "Yeah I know!" his friend said. "You know...I bet it's so windy, if you jumped out of he window, it could blow you up to the roof!" the man then said laughing. "No way! It's not that strong!" his friend said. "No! I'll prove it! Watch..." the man said and he leapt out the open window. A few seconds later, the man came back in the room having jogged down the stairwell from the roof. The man's friend blinked in amazement. "How?! How in the world did you do that?!" he blabbered. "I told you! THe wind is that strong it can carry you up to the roof!" he replied. His friend was not convinced. "Bet you can't do it again..." he edged. The man shrugged and ran up to the window and jumped out again. A few seconds later, he came down the stairs and back into the bar. "I don't believe it! You actually did it!" the friend said. The man laughed and smiled. "I told you!" "Let me give it a go!" the friend said but as he leapt out of the window, he fell all the way to the bottom screaming. As everyone crowded around the window, another man turned to the first man and says, "You've gotta stop pulling those pranks when you're drunk Superman!!" This is not meant to cause any disrespect to Christopher Reeves so please don't think I posted this out of spite! OK?!
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| Petrie | Jan 8 2005, 06:11:36 PM Post #79 |
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:lol: :lol: Jason, I never watched Superman in my life so no spite taken. Here's a similar one: One day three people are playing golf: Moses, Jesus, and God. On the tee shot, Moses hits the ball about 200 yards, and about 150 yards from the hole. Jesus takes his shot and he gets it about 225 years. Then God steps up. He hits the ball, a sparrow grabs the ball in his feet, and flies over to the hole and drops the ball about a foot from the hole and as the ball is still moving a gopher pops out of the hole and pulls it in. Moses looks to Jesus and says, "That's the last time I play golf with your father."
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| Malte279 | Jan 11 2005, 05:32:47 AM Post #80 |
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I'm a historian. I MUST be like that!
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Our English grammar lecturer told us about a parking sign in Scotland which shows the difference one ' can make. The sign said:
:lol: Did anyone ever park a doctor? |
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There are actually states in the US that have no income tax. >.<

LOL
7:22 PM Jul 10