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| Be Yourself; If there's enough interest I'll continue | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 20 2007, 10:20:05 PM (667 Views) | |
| Tails_155 | Oct 20 2007, 10:20:05 PM Post #1 |
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Ducky
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BEFORE I START: I only want your feedback if it is honest, any corrections are welcome, any edits are accepted, don't just say "that's good" to say it, I've witnessed peoples works (not necessarily on this forum) that were not necessarily _good_ yet people say "it's great" if this is no good, feel free to say it, remember you're the reader not me! AMENDMENT: THIS IS NOT A STORY: It is more likened to free-verse poetry than a story Now, ONWARD!
If people are interested I will continue, I will release this paragraph at a time, so if interest is lost I will have what I have up, and I won't have to write more
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| Manny Cav | Oct 20 2007, 10:22:38 PM Post #2 |
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Cera
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I honestly didn't see enough or get a good introduction or background information to make a good assessment. |
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| Tails_155 | Oct 20 2007, 10:23:29 PM Post #3 |
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Ducky
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yea, each person gets their own paragraph, this is just an intro to see if anyone is interested I wasn't going to continue if it got no interest, though the entire idea is in my head, and I'll post it up here ¶ by ¶ this is it's debut ![]() but I promise by the end you'll know plenty about everyone here - and maybe not what you expectedif you want I'll add one of the people's ¶s so there's at least an example of what I'll do |
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| Manny Cav | Oct 20 2007, 10:30:07 PM Post #4 |
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Cera
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Go right ahead. Just don't bomb me with an entire story. Reveal a little at a time. It'll be better that way.By the way, I notice you're concern with stuff getting called great, and while I'd ask for examples, it's probably better for me just to state that I always try to give honest reviews. I normally do say it's great, but sometimes, I point out little errors, or even chew them out at times. So you see what I'm capable of.... |
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| Tails_155 | Oct 20 2007, 10:31:22 PM Post #5 |
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Ducky
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okay! 'erego!
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| Manny Cav | Oct 20 2007, 10:34:01 PM Post #6 |
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Cera
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I notice that you're referring to yourself in third person. Are you referring to yourself or another "I"? If you are referring to yourself, is this actually real or fiction? It does sound detailed, like you've got a master plan already set. |
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| Tails_155 | Oct 20 2007, 10:35:07 PM Post #7 |
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Ducky
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Kit is a person, thats all I gotta say to that |
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| Manny Cav | Oct 20 2007, 10:38:32 PM Post #8 |
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Cera
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Err... you did it in the first paragraph also. |
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| Tails_155 | Oct 20 2007, 10:40:09 PM Post #9 |
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Ducky
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oh, I'm explaining the group there, I joined the group, I just referred back to it, I speak in the first person, don't be confused by that |
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| Manny Cav | Oct 20 2007, 10:41:07 PM Post #10 |
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Cera
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Alright, I'll ask it simple: What is the name of "I"? |
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| Tails_155 | Oct 20 2007, 10:41:30 PM Post #11 |
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Ducky
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I didn't name the narrator, it never came to mind |
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| Manny Cav | Oct 20 2007, 10:42:21 PM Post #12 |
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Cera
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Oh, so you're not actually in the story? |
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| Tails_155 | Oct 20 2007, 10:43:17 PM Post #13 |
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Ducky
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hmm, do you want me to name the character, if so it'd be Terriusu Reynard, I just never named the narrator, the only problem with doing that is that I already named a character "Terri" |
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| Manny Cav | Oct 20 2007, 10:46:53 PM Post #14 |
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Cera
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Sometimes, it's best to keep an air of mystery about the story or narrator/whatever. You may be better off with a simple, mysterious "I". |
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| Tails_155 | Oct 20 2007, 10:49:11 PM Post #15 |
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Ducky
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that was my plan sir you'll learn more about this mysterious "I" later, take not I haven't edited a single word since you commented I already cover a couple of these bases but it'd mess up the story to elaborate without sneaking the truth by ![]() Are you the only interested reader? XD could just be the time of day I guess |
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| Manny Cav | Oct 21 2007, 08:20:02 AM Post #16 |
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Cera
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I'm wondering that, myself. |
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| Tails_155 | Oct 21 2007, 06:08:36 PM Post #17 |
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Ducky
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Oh well, if there are any other readers please reply, so I can know that you want to read more
For Manny |
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| Malte279 | Oct 22 2007, 05:27:39 AM Post #18 |
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I'm a historian. I MUST be like that!
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You wrote some interesting and colorful character descriptions so far. Interesting characters are essential to a good story, but so far I don't know anything about the story or plot you are intending to write which makes it difficult to answer your central question on the reader's interest. |
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| Tails_155 | Oct 22 2007, 07:26:14 AM Post #19 |
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Ducky
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that's tough to explain, there's no traditional "story" it's a bit different |
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| Manny Cav | Oct 22 2007, 08:34:50 AM Post #20 |
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Cera
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Very interesting and detailed character development, but I'm curious to know what kind of "story", "writing", whatever you are planning on making. If there's not going to be a "story", then what is this going to be about? What's the finished product going to be like? |
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- and maybe not what you expected
Just don't bomb me with an entire story.
Reveal a little at a time. It'll be better that way.

8:04 PM Jul 10