| Welcome to Toegoff. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Your thoughts on Limerence; e.g. having a "Crush" or "Crushing" | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 26 2010, 05:00 AM (1,419 Views) | |
| aphexsam | Sep 26 2010, 05:00 AM Post #1 |
Woof Woof Woofies!
|
Wikipedia-"Limerence is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship. The term was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe the ultimate, near-obsessive form of romantic love. Limerence is sometimes also referred to as infatuation, or is colloquially known as a crush, but in reality it is something much different. In common speech, infatuation includes aspects of immaturity and extrapolation from insufficient information, and is usually short-lived." I haven't felt like this since I was 12. Sure I've had physical desire for someone but very rarely does it go onwards into the realms of romance. My minds normally too preocupied or busy to be able to focus on romance or anything more than physical attraction. This is odd, It's very intrusive as well. I can't revise or work properly, This person just keeps on circulating in my mind. It's very intense but I'll admit I wouldn't mind it carrying on, it's quite a nice feeling. To get such euphoria from just making eye contact. I haven't felt like this for anyone in years. I mean I've had friends and (on the rare occasions girlfriends) who are physichally attractive and who I got on with, like we enjoyed one anothers company etc. I thought that was romance, but this is so different and kind of scary. On multiple sites it keeps on saying that a "crush" (I despies that term, it sounds so childish when in fact I would think feeling more than just physical desire for someone is a step up maturity wise as your making an romantic connection albeit its unrequited) is tempoary. I like this in an odd way. Fantasising about it and seeing her even if its just a brief glimpse can literally make my day. Give your thoughts, opinions, advice etc. Cheers. |
 |
 
|
| Lemmiwinks | Sep 26 2010, 05:47 AM Post #2 |
I Just Got Nommed
|
First of all, congratulations. Finding a nice girl who you enjoy being with can be quite challenging and the best ones are always taken :lol: However, the first deep crush is what people usually call "puppy love" and sadly it doesn't tend to last. You get so euphoric when being with her that you are blinded to her flaws ( and I assure you, there are flaws ). Later on when the obsession wears off you'll start to notice them. I had my first crush in 7th or 8th grade. The girl was beautiful like an angel. She constantly smiled and glowed with positivity. The entire class was warm and sunny whenever she was around. In 9th grade I still liked her, but the fact she couldn't take anything seriously started to rub me the wrong way a little. In high school we only occasionally talked in the bus. The ages 15 to 20 are turbulent times. People change so much every year that some friends who seemed like your soul mates become increasingly alien to the point that you barely recognize them. Others, who you rarely talked to, become your best friends. I'm only 20 myself so I'm hardly old enough to give you a lecture, but compared to who I was a mere two years ago I'm a completely different person. High school and college force you to grow up and everyone grow up in a different direction. |
|
|
|
| Monstarcookie | Sep 26 2010, 06:14 AM Post #3 |
 
|
I had a crush in university.....he was a tall, very young Elvis-like asian guy. Very sexy rocker style. Whenver he was in the room you knew it because he was always laughing and smiling and greeting everyone.... |
|
|
|
| TheMonty646 | Sep 26 2010, 11:34 AM Post #4 |
Chicka Bow!
|
*splashes cold water on Monstar* Well Aph, act on it. Ask the women out to dinner. |
|
|
|
| aphexsam | Sep 26 2010, 12:26 PM Post #5 |
|
Woof Woof Woofies!
|
There's nothing I'd want to do more. I'm just so awkard and nervous around her. This is the odd part. I know very very little information about her (this was mentioned in the official Wikipedia article on Limerence and various other sites) but I'm just obsessed. I like thinking about her, alot but she's just stuck in my head all the time. I can't do work or sleep or anything. It was so sudden, I mean basically my friend (more of a companion really) has a job where he introduces new students around the school. There was these two students (A guy and a girl, she being the girl) coming over from Poland and Slovakia ( so I don't even know how good her english is...I mean I can only speak english and a very poor amount of french). And I saw her and I mean she was just strikingly beautiful (She has a very elegant, slender body and this pretty pale skin and long dark feathered hair) and yet no one else seems to notice her, like at all. I certainly plan on finding out more about her and hopefully getting to know her a bit better. I mean I would be so unbeleivably happy if we could get together, I would die happy. I have very low self esteem though so I doubt in my abilities/ personality/ appearance if she would even want to go for me but like I said when we make eye contact (Which is doubly hard for me anyway) I just get lost in her dark eyes. She is stunning and she isn't like all the other girls in my year who are drenched in fake tan and who spend the weekends gorging themselves on Fosters and D***. I can't express to you guys how I feel very well so you'll have to rely on personal experience but jsut knowing her makes me feel so happy. I feel alot better than I have in a long time. I'm actually going to try and see her during one of my Private Study periods tommorow rather than going home as I normally do. I doubt she'd want to go for me (I have no evidence to support this, just a gut feeling I have) but the thought of us being together just makes me smile so much. |
|
|
|
| GuitarrAddictt | Sep 26 2010, 02:42 PM Post #6 |
I Just Got Nommed
|
I know what you mean. My problem is similar to yours.. hell, it's the same! She's gorgeous, she's smart, she has a nice personality, what more could a man possibly wish for? I talk to her a lot. But i still get nervous and start to stutter time to time.. which is really awkard in my opinion. I've known and liked her for so long, like from kindergarten and she's one of the reason i like to listen to Iglesias. But the real problem is, i don't want other girls. Only her. But we're so good friends, so i think she would never consider me to be her boyfriend or such. I also get scared when i think, what my friends will say if they find out that i listen to Iglesias. Damn. "Limerence" is killing me inside.  Girls.. and what they make you go through. 
|
|
|
|
| Sinovera | Sep 26 2010, 02:54 PM Post #7 |
Administrator
|
I actually used to think men were just stone beings with no real capability for love or like feelings :P. Interesting to read this stuff. As for me I think limerence is fun to go through and for starting interest but can in the end screw you over if you don't learn to either snap out of it or move up to the next level. |
|
|
|
| AndMyAxe414 | Sep 26 2010, 09:30 PM Post #8 |
Chicka Bow!
|
Zoe.........Lovely Zoe.........I met Zoe in New York, immediately noticing her fire red hair and amazing smile. We were at it for about 3 years. Greatest thing that has ever happened to me. American, of all things. What ever you would like to call it, whether it be Love, Longing, Hot Sex, or Limerence, it was evident in the first month. Leave it to France to fuck over a good thing. Now we play the waiting game...6 months... |
|
|
|
| AndMyAxe414 | Sep 26 2010, 10:16 PM Post #9 |
|
Chicka Bow!
|
*Trips TheMonty and steals his bucket of water* |
|
|
|
| iPwnies | Sep 27 2010, 12:47 AM Post #10 |
 
|
|
|
|
|
| Reishadows | Sep 27 2010, 01:06 AM Post #11 |
Neener Neener Neener
|
I felt this once....once mind you. We were in love deeply. On a real emotion level, physical romance was something that was never in my mind with her, or I should say never over took me, was in the back of my mind (When had was very romantic and loving) . Loved her, give a car, a house, my money, diamonds, everything.......and then....find her in bed with my best friend......another girl... Then I started playing video games.... 3 years ago...now I 20.......Damn.... |
|
|
|
| aphexsam | Sep 27 2010, 09:59 AM Post #12 |
|
Woof Woof Woofies!
|
I am determined tommorow to smile at her when I next see her. I know it's only little but I'm very nervous about it. Someone once said I look liek the Joker when I smile and it's going to be hearbreaking if she doesn't smile back. I walked past her in the corridor today, we made eye contact. I got into tutorial and I was drenched in sweat and my heart was trying to burst out of my chest (sexy I know). She is so beautiful!!!. |
|
|
|
| TheMonty646 | Sep 27 2010, 03:31 PM Post #13 |
|
Chicka Bow!
|
Lemme tell you my tale friend. Before I signed on with the AF to pay for my expensive law school (which i have decided to drop so i can go career with the Air force) I had a classmate who transferred over in the middle of the year by the name of Cheyenne. I went through basically what you did. A feeling of total captivation and the thought of her ever rejecting me was more depressing then the apocalypse. After several months I timidly asked if she would like to go to a party with me. I plan to ask her to marry me tomorrow. |
|
|
|
| aphexsam | Sep 28 2010, 10:04 AM Post #14 |
|
Woof Woof Woofies!
|
Damn I couldn't smile at her today but I did find out her name. First time I saw her we didn't really make eye contact and I was with a friend, second time I just saw her in a crowd, third time she walked straight past, I don't know if she looked at me because I was too busy looking down to hide my nervousness :/.  FML. I am determined to at least smile at her by the end of the week. I don't know if she likes me?!?!?
|
|
|
|
| Unfie | Sep 28 2010, 10:30 AM Post #15 |
Big Sweaty Moose Bleepers
|
Hang in there bud.
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · General Forum · Next Topic » |
11:55 AM Jul 13