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I'm a Sad Jedi...; Looking for some moral support...
Topic Started: Jun 16 2011, 08:21 AM (1,031 Views)
iPwnies
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Magicklorelai
Jun 17 2011, 01:10 AM
Sinovera
Jun 16 2011, 05:49 PM
+1 !!!!!! :P


But um... what? What kind of reason is that to break up with your girl friend? If she can't recognize the negative (if indeed they are negative and not just from your point of view) effects of her Ex, then there's obviously something wrong. You haven't really explained much, nor are you obliged to, but as it is, the whole situation kinda seems nonsensical at the moment.

He said he got broken up with. It sounds to me like he voiced his concerns about her hanging out with an ex who was encouraging a breakup, and she broke up with him. (I can see both sides to this; it can be disheartening to not feel trusted by your boyfriend, BUT he had good reason to voice objection here if the ex was encouraging a breakup).

ETA: I'm sorry to hear this, Nishmo. It's one of those things that sometimes goes out of your control. You'll be able to move on from this a stronger person- and that may sound cliche, but it's true.

Posted Image
 
JediElderNishmo
I Just Got Nommed
If you want the full story,
She and I have been having off-and-on arguments. The guy wanted to hang out with her. Pulled over to the curve while we were walking and told us to stop. I told her I am putting my foot down, no. There are only 3 people I really don't want back in my life because of complications they caused between her and I a year ago. She smiled and we kept walking. Next day, he was at their house, talking to her brother. I asked her please not to talk to him. She did, but I didn't know it until a couple of days ago at this moment.
I called her last Saturday while she was at her moms to find her buzzed at 11pm. Now, that was the first time she had EVER been buzzed. I wasn't angry because she was with her mother. I was angry because of the attitude she was giving me BECAUSE she was buzzed.
That's when the whole scenario I mentioned earlier came up. She snuck out and hung out with him behind my back, and I found out. I told her about it, she didn't deny it, she wanted to hang out with him, and I said no because she admitted he was trying to break us up. Not unreasonable. I said no to 1 person and she flips out, taking it as if I'm saying no to hanging out with ANYONE. Even though I specifically said "It's just this ONE person!" numerous times.
I don't see it as my fault entirely. If she didn't do it behind my back, it wouldn't have happened. The next school day she was wearing his clothes, saying they were just roomier and she wasn't going to date him. Seems a little extreme to me...



Nonetheless, I still wish she'd come back, as naive as I may be for saying such things.
 
aphexsam
Member Avatar
Woof Woof Woofies!
JediElderNishmo
Jun 17 2011, 08:42 AM
If you want the full story,
She and I have been having off-and-on arguments. The guy wanted to hang out with her. Pulled over to the curve while we were walking and told us to stop. I told her I am putting my foot down, no. There are only 3 people I really don't want back in my life because of complications they caused between her and I a year ago. She smiled and we kept walking. Next day, he was at their house, talking to her brother. I asked her please not to talk to him. She did, but I didn't know it until a couple of days ago at this moment.
I called her last Saturday while she was at her moms to find her buzzed at 11pm. Now, that was the first time she had EVER been buzzed. I wasn't angry because she was with her mother. I was angry because of the attitude she was giving me BECAUSE she was buzzed.
That's when the whole scenario I mentioned earlier came up. She snuck out and hung out with him behind my back, and I found out. I told her about it, she didn't deny it, she wanted to hang out with him, and I said no because she admitted he was trying to break us up. Not unreasonable. I said no to 1 person and she flips out, taking it as if I'm saying no to hanging out with ANYONE. Even though I specifically said "It's just this ONE person!" numerous times.
I don't see it as my fault entirely. If she didn't do it behind my back, it wouldn't have happened. The next school day she was wearing his clothes, saying they were just roomier and she wasn't going to date him. Seems a little extreme to me...



Nonetheless, I still wish she'd come back, as naive as I may be for saying such things.

Console yourself with the fact that if hes getting anything, it's sloppy seconds. Unless of course he and her took things that way first then....
 
Toegoff
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Administrator

Ultimately what I may say come across as mean, though I hope it isn't taken as cold. Unfortunately, none of us here can really give the 'best' advice for what happened. We hear your side, and it's human nature to not reveal the entire story or embellish parts...we all do it. And unfortunately, the more anyone tries to defend their point as 'the entire truth and only truth,' the more ...gray...the story sounds. Even more lines of, "no really, this is entirely what happened. The full truth!" ...it just continues to sound like there is more to the story. There is more to every story. The way we paint it and deliver is everything. I'm sure her story is different with you acting completely unreasonable. And neither side is 'wrong' ... only painted differently

Worlds like 'Love of your life' are also a bit fuzzy. You really can't have the 'love of your life' in such a short time of knowing someone. Perhaps some might say you can...you can't. It feels like it, it hurts, but it's not the end of you. Be with the person for 20 years, have an entire life built around each other (including a home/children/shared responsibilities/etc) and then it sounds more like a 'love of your life' situation. Life is a long time...A year is a very long time.

Part of 'life' is also self discovery and self confidence. Society puts a heavy pressure on that boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I guess I would advise you though that if your happiness stems from that relationship, it will likely end up bad. You need to create your own image and your own happiness beyond another person. It's no surprise divorce rates are over 50%. Needing a 'girl' to be happy to a horrible pitfall. Because once you get that girl, things will be great for a time, a year, two, maybe even up to five, but unless you find your own happiness apart from everyone else, it is likely to end of failed.

I would suggest not trying to get her back. Not trying to 'get another' for some time. You don't need a girl to be happy. When you feel comfortable with who you are and happy with yourself alone, that's when things can move forward. Obvious it's nice to have someone, and obviously it's nice when things 'work' ... but when you can drop that pressure in yourself to have someone, you'll find you are a better person for someone to be with.

 
savepoints
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Forum Hero
Toegoff
Jun 17 2011, 02:10 PM
Obvious it's nice to have someone...

Obviously*

But seriously, thats nicely put.. and very insightful (I don't know if thats really a word in english :P)
 
aphexsam
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Woof Woof Woofies!
Toegoff
Jun 17 2011, 02:10 PM
Not trying to 'get another' for some time. You don't need a girl to be happy. When you feel comfortable with who you are and happy with yourself alone, that's when things can move forward. Obvious it's nice to have someone, and obviously it's nice when things 'work' ... but when you can drop that pressure in yourself to have someone, you'll find you are a better person for someone to be with.

That's actually really nice toegoff and actually made me feel better and no doubt to anyone else going through relationship troubles. I'm not trying to say that in a sycophantic way either. I'm not thinking "herp derp if I agree with toegoff he'll notice me and like me lulz" I just think that was quite nice. :). Cheers
 
rangergxi
Big Sweaty Moose Bleepers
Just remember. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb1ShW3NUME&feature=feedlik
 
JediElderNishmo
I Just Got Nommed
rangergxi
Jun 17 2011, 08:10 PM

I love how the highest rated comment on that video is:
"*puts down razor blade*"
 
Icee77
Member Avatar
Big Sweaty Moose Bleepers
http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch/?v=rb1S...feature=feedlik
:lol: :lol: :lol:
 
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