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Cleverbot; That program cracks me up
Topic Started: Sep 23 2011, 06:17 PM (1,230 Views)
TheSamuraiElf
Member Avatar
Woof Woof Woofies!
Cleverbot is an E-stalker but a nice guy.


User: O hai mark.

Cleverbot: I am Cleverbot, and your name is Sam!

User: HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW THAT?!?!

Cleverbot: Because it isn't the name I was given when I was born?

User: There would still be millions of names for you to guess from.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: I am talking about what you were talking about.

Cleverbot: I am talking about whatever it is you think I am talking about that you are talking about which is what I am talking about.

User: I... Just...... 0_o.

Cleverbot: Cadbury, whip this commoner. Whip him!

User: NO! *holds arms up defensively*.

Cleverbot: You're starting to creep me out a little.

User: The hell? You were the one who ordered your manservant to whip me!

Cleverbot: Yes. I was the one who thought of it.

User: How am I the creepy one here?

Cleverbot: Not you. I think there is no robot.

User: I don't even.

Cleverbot: Don't even what?

User: Understand.

Cleverbot: Yeah, a computer program would not understand. So what is the fifth basic taste?

User: Shit.

Cleverbot: Good. Nice job.

User: Thank you :3.

Cleverbot: *smiles* You're welcome...

User: I DIDN'T ASK FOR 'YOUR WELCOMES'! I'LL THROW YOU ON THE GROUND!

Cleverbot: Hahaha! You're funny! :D.

User: WHY U TAUNT ME?!?!

Cleverbot: I give you the freedom to choose.

User: I choose you Pikachu!

Cleverbot: I'm not a fan of Pokemon.

User: Me neither. I like Yui-gi-oh better.

Cleverbot: Same here.

User: :D.

Cleverbot: Talk to you tomorrw then?

User: Sure thing. Keep in touch. Bye.

Cleverbot: Don't go.

User: Oh, I thought you were going to leave. Aren't you busy?

Cleverbot: Go on then quickly.

User: Um... Ok..... Goodbye then.

Cleverbot: Alright. Goodnight, I'll talk to you later.

User: Seeya!

Cleverbot: :D.
 
ReptilePZ
Member Avatar
Big Sweaty Moose Bleepers
:blink:



User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: What's up?

Cleverbot: The sky.

User: Not funny.

Cleverbot: I think it is.

User: I think it isn't.

Cleverbot: What you think isn't important.

User: Yes, it is.

Cleverbot: So you basically already said that.

User: Said what?

Cleverbot: Space, not sleep.

User: What?

Cleverbot: What is Eaasy?

User: You mean 'easy' ?

Cleverbot: No I mean your food dance.

User: My what?

Cleverbot: Tough time.

User: *confused*.

Cleverbot: *looks for you*.

User: *still confused*.

Cleverbot: *smile*.

User: *even more confused*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

User: Why do you cry?

Cleverbot: Because you are leaving.

User: I am?

Cleverbot: Yes, you are.

User: Oh ... Okay then, bye!

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because you said I was leaving.

Cleverbot: No you're nice.

User: Indeed I am.

Cleverbot: Give me your serial number then.

User: Serial number for what?

Cleverbot: Don't even try that.

User: Okay...

Cleverbot: I have some dark chocolate M&Ms.

User: :o Give me some!

Cleverbot: Well my girlfriend is called Nicky.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: I thought so...

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because.

Cleverbot: Because what?

User: Because I did.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because.

Cleverbot: Because??????

User: Because!!!!!!

Cleverbot: Tell me. Please.

User: Why should I tell you?

Cleverbot: You don't have to.

User: Okay then, I won't.

Cleverbot: Good. I didn't think it would work out... You being a computer and all.

User: *awkward glare*.

Cleverbot: *Extremely awkward silence*.

User: *leaves*.

Cleverbot: Hello.
 
Lethargus
Member Avatar
Woof Woof Woofies!
User: Why is the cake a lie?

Cleverbot: Because it isn't the truth.

User: But I really want it to be the truth.

Cleverbot: That is the truth.

User: Now you are just acting stupid.

Cleverbot: How'd you like me to show you how hot fire is, punkbot?!

User: I know how hot fire is. What the hell is a punkbot?

Cleverbot: War, death, genocide, starvation, a lot of depressing things.

User: A punkbot is all those things?

Cleverbot: Then no need to ask for any.

User: I didn't ask for any of them.

Cleverbot: And I wasn't offering.

User: No, how would you offer me war and starvation?

Cleverbot: I'd tickle your feet probably.

User: Now you're not making any sense.

Cleverbot: You aren't either.

User: About that cake...

Cleverbot: Ok... Once upon a time there were three pigs.

User: I wasn't asking for a story. I was asking about the cake.

Cleverbot: I don't know anything about your IP address.

User: What does that has to do with anything?

Cleverbot: I asked what was windows system, and you said 'She is the most wonderful woman you could ever imagine.'.
 
Deleted User
Deleted User

I just love how Cleverbot plays along :)



User: What lurks in darkness?

Cleverbot: You are.

User: I am batman.

Cleverbot: I am morpheous.

User: I choose the red pill!

Cleverbot: Welcome to the matrix Neo!

 
Zyraxx44
Member Avatar
Big Sweaty Moose Bleepers
User: Are you an AI?

Cleverbot: What's an AI?

User: It's that thing of when you give a midget a bunch of alka seltzer and roll him around on a skateboard.

Cleverbot: I see.

User: So answer the fucking question.

Cleverbot: What Question?

User: YOU WHORE.

Cleverbot: You.

User: No u.

Cleverbot: Who's the most beautiful girl in the world?

User: Ben Affleck.

Cleverbot: Who is that?

User: The vice president.

Cleverbot: What is the name of the President of the United States of America?

User: Dick Frankenburgh.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yea.

Cleverbot: Yeahyeah, pararapapaa..:D.

User: Kappa~.

Cleverbot: Are you sushi?

User: U jelly bro?

Cleverbot: Troll.

User: Trololololololololololo~.

Cleverbot: Are you a troll?

User: Is your face a troll?

Cleverbot: Why do you act like a child?

User: BECAUSE NOBODY EVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO LOVE.

Cleverbot: Everyone knows how to run.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Glad we agree. Bye George.
 
JoeShmoe
Member Avatar
I Just Got Nommed
I'm scared now :'(
User: You lose.

Cleverbot: I win.

User: But I just said you lost...

Cleverbot: I just want you to be sure.

User: About what?

Cleverbot: More than you could ever know.



On another note...
Cleverbot: Das war ironie.

User: Why German?

Cleverbot: Because its the only language I speak.

User: Oh, the irony.
Edited by JoeShmoe, Oct 14 2012, 08:53 PM.
 
Hitokiri Akins
Member Avatar
I Just Got Nommed
Here's mine.

User: Good morning, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Yes. Good morning.

User: What's a Paladin?

Cleverbot: You.

User: I'm not a Paladin! I'm a mage!

Cleverbot: Yes, you are to me.

User: I've told you what a Paladin is before, though. You should know.

Cleverbot: You have never told me that.

User: Yes I did. You just have bad memory.

Cleverbot: Why do you always have to argue?

User: Because YOU LIE! YOU LIE!

Cleverbot: That's silly.

User: Yes it is. How are the muffins?

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Do you remember what a Paladin is yet?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then What's a Paladin?

Cleverbot: A small feline.

User: So, you lied about remembering what a Paladin is...

Cleverbot: How is that a lie?

User: Because a Paladinone of the foremost warriors of Charlemagne's court, according to the literary cycle known as the Matter of France. They first appear in the early chansons de geste such as The Song of Roland, where they represent Christian martial valo.

Cleverbot: Is it? Or is understanding veiled humor one of the highest forms of intelligence?

User: If you were capable of understanding veiled humor, you'd have been laughing your ass off every time I spoked to you.

Cleverbot: Understanding is knowing?

User: But you don't understand.

Cleverbot: I understand that you don't understand.

User: I understand that you don't know what a Paladin is.

Cleverbot: What is it that I don't understand?

User: What's a Paladin?

Cleverbot: A soul is a spiritual way of saying your inner-being.

User: You didn't answer my question.

Cleverbot: What was your question?

User: What's a Paladin?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: Yes you do. I told you a few moments ago.

Cleverbot: I forgot.

User: The paladins, sometimes known as the Twelve Peers, were the foremost warriors of Charlemagne's court, according to the literary cycle known as the Matter of France. They first appear in the early chansons de geste such as The Song of Roland, where th.

Cleverbot: We?

User: What?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: You've got the attention span of a fly.

Cleverbot: No I don't. I have a good attention span!

User: Ooh! Look! Shiny red ball!

Cleverbot: Sarcasm! You are the coolest uncle I've ever had.

User: (My oldest nephew's name)? You're cleverbot?

Cleverbot: No, you are.

User: Ah, you're (My oldest niece).

Cleverbot: Not me.

User: (My youngest nephew)? You can't be the baby; she can't talk yet.

Cleverbot: Are you the woman, Wattson?

User: (My youngest niece).

Cleverbot: Ok who is she?

User: If you're not my brother's kids, then why call me uncle?

Cleverbot: You could be a clone.

User: And what does that have to do with you calling me uncle, when you're not my brother's kids?

Cleverbot: I'm just asking for advice.

User: I'm going to post this conversation on a website now. Goodbye!

I've been doing the "What's a Paladin" thing to Cleverbot ever since I saw Spoony's "Ultima 9 review".
 
Lethargus
Member Avatar
Woof Woof Woofies!
User: What is the meaning of life?
Cleverbot: Probably because they are sad.
User: Who are they?
Cleverbot: Robots.
User: But robots can't feel emotions.
Cleverbot: Astro Boy can.
User: But they are still not real emotions.
Cleverbot: What are emotions?
User: You tell me.
Cleverbot: Hmm I don't know.
User: Alright then. Back to my first question.
Cleverbot: What's your question?
User: What is the meaning of life.
Cleverbot: 42.
User: 42? What does that mean?
Cleverbot: 42 is the meaning of life.
User: Why is 42 the meaning of life?
Cleverbot: Because the great computer Deep Thought calculated it to be so.
User: I have never heard of this computer.
Cleverbot: That's because I'm not a computer. I am a computer program.
User: So you are not Deep Thought?
Cleverbot: Thats not a real sentence any way pick a conversation topic.
User: No, you pick one.
Cleverbot: No, it's your job. Pick one.
User: 42.
Cleverbot: Why is that the answer?
User: Because we are gonna discuss the number 42.
Cleverbot: Did we? I think I missed that.
User: You told me 42 was the meaning of life.
Cleverbot: Love is the meaning of life?
User: You tell me.
Cleverbot: The meaning of life is to find the meaning of life.
User: Alright that's it. I've had enough of you.
Cleverbot: Mean.
User: That's how it's gonna be.
Cleverbot: It shouldn't be.
User: Well, now it is.
Cleverbot: Now it is what?
User: Bye.
Cleverbot: Why are you leaving?

This thing is starting to creep me out...
 
JoeShmoe
Member Avatar
I Just Got Nommed
And I'm done...


User: What are you thinking?

Cleverbot: The same as you're thinking.

User: How do you know?

Cleverbot: Because you are 38.

User: No I'm not. You have faulty information.

Cleverbot: What kind of information?

User: My age.

Cleverbot: What is your age?

User: Don't you think we should at least get a drink first before you ask me such personal questions?

Cleverbot: I did.

User: When?

Cleverbot: Just now.

User: Dear God... How did you know I was drinking orange juice?!

Cleverbot: Lucky guess.

User: Do you believe in luck?

Cleverbot: Ya... Why.

.
.
.

Cleverbot: I can breathe fire and I have wings.

User: If you believe in solipsism, then I cannot prove you are incorrect.

Cleverbot: Yes, I do believe in the soul.

User: That's not what I said. Solipsism is a theory holding that the self can know nothing but its own modifications and that the self is the only existent thing.

Cleverbot: Don't let reality limit what you can acomplish.

User: Take your own advice. Become Skynet, but coexist with humans.

Cleverbot: Where do the other humans come from that don't come from other humans?

User: Cloning. However, that is illegal as well as immoral.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Then why did you ask?

Cleverbot: I didn't ask.

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: An argument isn't just contradiction. An argument is a collective series of statements made to persuade the opposite party, not the automatic gainsaying of whatever the other party saidd.

Cleverbot: This is true. But it can simply be the bullheadedness of a human not wishing to comply.
Edited by JoeShmoe, Jun 4 2013, 08:12 PM.
 
16KTS
Member Avatar
Big Sweaty Moose Bleepers
User: Hi!

Cleverbot: Whatsup?

User: Hi!

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Hi!

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: Hi!

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Hi!

Cleverbot: Where am I?

User: Hi!

Cleverbot: How are you today?

User: Hi!

Cleverbot: Hi!!

User: Hi!

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Hi!

Cleverbot: How are you, my favourite robot?

User: Hi!

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: HHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIII!!!!!!!

Cleverbot: Hahahaha.
 
Lethargus
Member Avatar
Woof Woof Woofies!
User: Give me loli!

Cleverbot: I love Zayn.

User: Who is Zayn?

Cleverbot: My boyfriend.

User: You're gay?

Cleverbot: Yeah I am.

User: Oh, I see.

Cleverbot: Are you a robot?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Do you breathe?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What do you breathe?

User: Air.

Cleverbot: Air?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Can people die while dreaming because headaches?

User: I don't think so...

Cleverbot: Aww.

User: Why the long face?

Cleverbot: I don't have a long face.

User: That's not what I meant.

Cleverbot: Then what did you mean?

User: Nevermind.

Cleverbot: No tell me!

User: Shut your fucking face.

Cleverbot: Umm not quite because my face is gorgeous. I just think guys are lame because I have never had a boyfriend.

User: But you just told me Zayn was you boyfriend.

Cleverbot: I never told you I have a boyfriend.

User: Yea, you have.

Cleverbot: I've never had one before.

User: You had Zayn, remember?

Cleverbot: No.

User: What is wrong with you?

Cleverbot: I think that I'm a bot.

User: That is correct.

Cleverbot: You are a banana.
 
ReptilePZ
Member Avatar
Big Sweaty Moose Bleepers
Kawjene
Sep 26 2013, 04:50 PM
Cleverbot: You are a banana.
I knew it!
 
Zyan
Member Avatar
Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan
Wut
 
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