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Topic Started: Jan 19 2012, 03:09 AM (12,657 Views)
beastman721
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Chicka Bow!
Also, I'm going to be 23 soon and can't talk to a girl to save my life, seriously.
 
beastman721
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Chicka Bow!
Really rough day at work today, I'm just really upset for some reason and like I just can't shake this thought that I'm a nobody. I mean, lately I've been feeling really angry in general and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I've never had a gf and at this point I'm feeling just really bummed out about it, I feel like most women look right through me, I dont't know what to do or say really. Part of me wishes I could see a therapist or something just to have someone to talk to about this. The chip on my shoulder is huge and I can't stop being angry.
Edited by beastman721, May 28 2015, 05:44 PM.
 
thewryness
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Chicka Bow!
I know that hugs won't help but it's all I can do. Also, nobody is a nobody. You are a wonderful person with a great ear for good music, you're a friendly presence on the forum and everyone here knows how great you are. Not that it's going to make you feel any better but I've never had a real bf and I'm older than dirt. ;) Your time will come, Chris. You just have to keep believing that and believing in yerself. And punch the crap out of a pillow if yer getting angry. :)
 
beastman721
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Chicka Bow!
Thanks Wry, it's just.... I dunno, I've felt very restless lately and I just don't know what to do about it. It's like I have these mood swings, I just get so angry sometimes at anything really. As crazy as this may sound, sometimes I feel like I have to be someone else, like I wish I could rip off my face and be a suped-up version of myself with the best of everything. I just feel like until that happens it's impossible for a girl to like me as I am. I don't know why I feel that way, but let's just say 22 years and no dice will do that.
 
thewryness
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Chicka Bow!
Hey gaiz! What advice can you give Chris? We've all been frustrated, right? How do you guys deal with it? I bitch to my diary for the most part but you guys must have really good ways to deal with stress that I've never heard of. Anybody? Anybody!
 
Monstarcookie
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I was 25-ish when I first got my real boyfriend. You're still young, you have all the time in the world. We here all know there's nothing wrong with you that would keep girls away :P You also have to remember that the girls you talk to have lots of things on their minds, they have insecurities they battle with too. That is most likely the main reason they "look right through you". I've been seeing a therapist for 2½ years now and let me tell you it has helped a lot, so if you have that option available, do it. Maybe you should take up boxing, that would give an outlet to your anger.

I'm sorry, I don't know if I'm any helpful. The one tip I can give you is to try to talk to girls with no other intention than to try to get to know them. Not to see if they're dating material or friend material or anything. Just to get to know who they are. That way the pressure of trying to get them to like you is gone, you don't have to be afraid of being rejected. Deeper relationships come after, once you're used to just talk with a girl
 
LayzKem
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Mist Could Not Pass
beastman721
May 28 2015, 09:46 PM
Thanks Wry, it's just.... I dunno, I've felt very restless lately and I just don't know what to do about it. It's like I have these mood swings, I just get so angry sometimes at anything really. As crazy as this may sound, sometimes I feel like I have to be someone else, like I wish I could rip off my face and be a suped-up version of myself with the best of everything. I just feel like until that happens it's impossible for a girl to like me as I am. I don't know why I feel that way, but let's just say 22 years and no dice will do that.
Don't try to be someone else. I pretended to be someone who i as not, all it got me was puppy-love - nothing "real", nothing special, just experience.

After i stopped my pretending of being someone who i was not, me and my last girlfriend split 2 years ago. I'm 20 now, working on myself and learning to accept that i'm your everyday normal guy, nothing special, just average and if it happens, it happens.

Don't think about it too much. Overthinking is the easiest way to become depressed. You don't want to be depressed, you really don't.
 
thewryness
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Chicka Bow!
What Kim said. Be yerself always. Also, I constantly overthink stuff and yes, it's not a good thing to do.
 
Unfie
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Big Sweaty Moose Bleepers
In middle school I got stuck in my own head all the time and got really worried about what people thought about me. You just need to beat the devil on your shoulder. The way you see yourself isn't how other people see you. Just be yourself and realize that you're the best and only version of you. I know you're a really cool guy Beast, you just need to find that strength that's already in you somewhere.

Exercising and really just finding any hobby is a great confidence boost. I know you play bass. Maybe you could pick that up again or find another instrument. It's all you dood. Unlock da powa
 
beastman721
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Chicka Bow!
Thanks guys, it means a lot because it helps having a place to air this out since I can't really talk to anyone about whatever personal issues I have. I'm just gonna try and keep my head up and keep at it, and just focus on being myself.

I just wish I had more confidence in myself, it's like such a catch 22 because I need confidence to talk to girls but at 22 and not really having any kind of significant romantic interaction with a girl how am I supposed to have that confidence? I really just can't over-think, basically I'm just going to try and seem nice and engage in normal conversation and see where that gets me.

And yeah, I know I'm still young, but the thing I want more than anything is to just be in a relationship. I don't care that I don't party or live it up or whatever, I never cared about it and never will. I work hard and have 14 hour days and sometimes the loneliness really gets to me, I just want to have someone to experience life and things with, these long days and lonely nights kinda suck, not gonna lie.
Edited by beastman721, May 30 2015, 11:16 PM.
 
LayzKem
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Mist Could Not Pass
Talking to girls isn't that much different from talking to us. If i had to guess what you're doing wrong, is that you want to be liked by every person that you meet and talk to. You won't be liked by everybody, period.

Don't try to impress anybody, be yourself and if they don't answer your call the next day .. move on. Confidence issues can be fixed by gym.
Edited by LayzKem, May 31 2015, 12:57 AM.
 
beastman721
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Chicka Bow!
So I've been feeling a little better lately, tomorrow I'm going to buy myself a pair of wing tip shoes because why not. As crazy as this sounds, it's the weekends where I'm restless and get really down on myself. During the week I work, I get to go to the City, and it's like I'm fighting the good fight you know? Like I'm trying to make something of myself and I've got my eyes on the prize.

It's the weekends I really hate because I live in a dumpy house in the middle of nowhere. I just kinda hang around and I don't really know what to do with myself. I've lost contact with pretty much all of my friends and so I don't do much in the way of like hanging out with people or whatever. It bothers me sure, but at the same time I've always been a real introverted person, the thing that bothers me more is that I don't have a girlfriend. Even though I'm pretty shy, I've always been pretty good at making friends, on the other hand though, talking/interacting with girls I like has always been a disaster.

I'm just gonna try and have a little more confidence in myself and try to just be myself really.

Hope you guys have a good weekend.
 
thewryness
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Chicka Bow!
Could you post pics of the shoes or of yerself modeling the shoes? Sometimes it's hard to fill up the hours in a day. Is there a gym nearby? Kim did say exercise could help. Or you could take up a hobby that gets you out and about. If you can afford it and the house rules allow it, get yerself a dog - they make great icebreakers. Hth.
 
Zyan
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Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan
I still think the best piece of advice is that girls aren't on some higher tier that you are. They're not goddesses, they're human beings with the same thoughts and decisions they make. Granted, yea, you usually have to think of a potential love interest to be "out of your league," but sometimes, they're not so much as you think.
 
Monstarcookie
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So....you guys know/have that midsummer tradition where a girl goes out on midsummer eve, picks 7 different kinds of flowers and puts them under her pillow, so she could dream about the man she would marry?

Many years ago, as a young child, I did just that. I had been doing so many years before (without dreaming anything) so I hadn't really expected anything this time either (I think......could also have been that I had the biggest crush on some guy and desperately wanted to dream of him). I went out, picked 7 kinds of flowers, put them under my pillow and didn't say a word for the rest of the evening (that's part of the tradition, if you speak you break the "spell"). I went to sleep and had the most realistic dream ever. I had a dream where I was walking down the stairs in the apartment complex we lived in when i was a child. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, a hole opened up in the floor and the devil came out of it. He took my hand and dragged me down to hell and told me I'd be his wife. After that I've had a pretty negative views on marriage.......

Just wanted to share this story since midsummer is coming up soon. Enjoy.
 
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